Frazzled. Fractious. Fearful. There have been far too many F-words for comfort this year.
By any measure, 2020 has not turned out quite the way any of us imagined.
We have had our foot on the accelerator/gas pedal revving our engines in the ‘red zone’ of our rev counters for far too long.
Many want to know ‘how do I/we become more resilient?’
Our interpersonal neurobiology has the answer.
We know that our experience shapes the brain throughout life by altering the connections among neurons.
We know too that our mind regulates the flow of energy and information within us and between us.
We also know our desire for safe connection is biological. Much of the elaborate circuitry of the human brain is devoted to reading and decoding social cues to either invite or discourage connection.
We lack resilience where our experience of fear and/or pain doesn’t have the support it needs to be digested and integrated into the flow of our developing brains.
When we perceive safety in each other we inhibit our autonomic nervous defences and connect with others.
We relate, we co-regulate and feel supported.
It is this – this neurobiological chain reaction – that is the foundation of our resilience, not ‘grit’.